Apparently when you’re 5-1/2, tiny ice cream is bullshit…
I took the kids to McDonald’s last night after dinner for a special treat. I wanted one of those giant drinks, and I know they give away little kids cones. So we get there, they are so excited, and I hand them their tiny cones. Violet was not amused.
“Why is it so tiny?” she asks, clearly disappointed. Translation: What the fuck is this? I’m 5-1/2. This tiny ice cream is clearly designed for babies.
“It’s a yummy ice cream,” I declare. “Oh man, I wanted a real one,” she whines, clearly not happy with me at all. Translation: Yeah, I get it. It’s a fucking tiny ice cream, I’m not stupid. Clearly, when you said ice cream at McDonald’s, I didn’t think you were going to fuck me over with this shit.
“Okay, then I guess I’ll eat it,” I offer. “No!” she yells and starts digging in. Translation: Look, I’ll fucking eat it cause it’s ice cream, but I don’t like it. At all. And I’m going to hate you when I’m 16 because of this.
