Only a fool dasn’t know today be talk like a pirate day. Take t’ it smarrrtly, ye bilge rats.  Ye will be tested and made t’ walk t’ plank if ye dasn’t comply.

 Here be some basic pirate lingo t’ get ye starrrted.

·         Ahoy! – “Hello!”

·         Avast! - Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, “Whoa! Get a load of that!” which today makes it more of a “Check it out” or “No way!” or “Get off!”

·         Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”

·         Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”

·         Arrr! – This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. “Arrr!” can mean, variously, “yes,” “I agree,” “I’m happy,” “I’m enjoying this beer,” “My team is going to win it all,” “I saw that television show, it sucked!” and “That was a clever remark you or I just made.” And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Still nay sure?  Bilge!  Use th’ English t’ pirate translatarrr:  http://www.syddware.com/cgi-bin/pirate.pl

 And t’ find out yer pirate name, go here: http://www.froggynet.com/cgi-bin/pirate.cgi, or I’ll throw ye in the briny deep.

Yo ho ho,

Lackey Jacquotte (aka kp) N

Why don’t you?

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=2513119

Take one little bite.  Come on!

Headline:  David Duchovny enters rehab for sex addition.  http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20222358,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Umm.  WHAT?!  Why do I find this so painful to wrap my head around?  Californication and then some.

Please disregard if the following doesn’t apply to you:

Grow the fuck up, people and stop being childish assholes.

When considering a new blog post, I follow the same methodology every day.  I pick up a pen, put my glasses on my head, and then start to think… FUCK YOU!  (Note the “love” on the finger.)  It works every time.

If I could knit, I would only knit food:

http://www.knittingpatterncentral.com/directory/food.php

Had one of those days where you wish you could just punch everyone you see in the face?

I always thought the douche bags were named Angela…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T4UuLuPrfk&NR=1

On behalf of all Karen’s, your photo should appear here in December, Dane Cock: http://www.bigdouchebag.com/index.html.   I guess there is a long line on the douche waiting list.

Douche bag.

It would be this: 

http://thingsididlastnight.com/

Pure genius.

The following is an actual email exchange within my department that occured this week:

From: Jon
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 11:13 AM
To: Team
Subject: OOO this afternoon

Team ,

I have 5 hours of call this back-to-back this afternoon, so I am going to take them from home.  If you need me feel free to call me on the cell or shoot me an email.

J
___
From: Matt
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 12:11 PM
To: Team
Subject: OOO this afternoon

Team,

I’m out a little early today as well – catching a flight home to NorCal this afternoon to visit my folks.

Have a great weekend, please feel free to call me on my cell if you need anything.

Many thanks,

Matt.
___

From: KP
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 12:14 PM
To:  Team
Subject: RE: OOO this afternoon
 
SOFT.  I’ve broken my leg (with my bare hands) and will be putting in a full day at the office after fashioning a splint out of paperclips.