So my boss sponsored a team poetry contest. Everyone had to write an acrostic poem about me. Winner gets a dollar. Here are the entries we voted on. My comments on each are outlined in red underneath.
Kinesthetic, resourceful,
and filled with mischievous cunning, the
redoubtable Karen graces us with her presence,
energetically mysterious as any of the
naiads of classic myth.
-obviously written by the crazy older man in the group, who often uses “fancy” words (like naiads) that my boss has never heard of. later, he’ll always asks me what it means. i usually lie and make something up.
Keeps getting hotter
As she ages.
Redheads are fierce and
Extract revenge, so
NEVER cross her.
-confession, this one was mine. the first line might be a lie, however i can’t emphasize the NEVER part strongly enough.
Kindhearted and giving
And always in the know
Rarely contrary
Expert by nature…
Now where’s that dollar?
-lame and the first line is a total lie.
Keeps the jokes coming
Always has a smile on her face
Russian work boyfriends are her favorite
Endless supply of shoes
Needs coffee in the morning
-boring. why did they even bother?
Keen remarks guaranteed
Always quickest to the draw
Red we call her, she’s quite the pirate
Excellent taste in shoes
Never blast techno if you want to live!
-good quality. i hate techno, and techno at work even more. i actually threatened to rip a co-worker’s face off if i heard his techno through the walls ever again.
Kickin’ the fun activities
Always talking about bodily fluids
Redheaded giver of eccentric gifts
Ever notice her love for Dmitri?
Never, ever, let her write a poem about me…
-stupid. must have been written by one of the douches.
Kangaroo like, putting web team in her pouch
Asparagus
Ready to blow her head off
Entertains with games, accents, and creepy pictures of weird people
Need more like her
– my favorite, except for the fact that i think the first line is implying i’m fat.
Karen is like a dark storm cloud
Always henpecking Dmitri
Rarely smiling in meetings
Eternally sour, and
Nagging Marketing Managers to Death
– must have been written by the other douche.
i saw red... thoughts from a (fake) red head 
“Kangaroo like, putting web team in her pouch”
Not in implying you’re fat; i think it means you’re a whore though.
And you’re invited to the May 31st event:
http://www.pomeroyspub.co.nz/events.stm
Comment by Kevin — March 14, 2008 @ 2:38 am
okay, then it is true.
and yes, wait for me at the bar- i’ll be there.
Comment by kp — March 14, 2008 @ 2:40 am
This is exactly how you are going to get your fat raise that I told you to demand – Projects like this that are entirely focussed on improving the company’s bottom line. Keep up the good work. Matey the Pirate would be proud.
Comment by Gaylord — March 14, 2008 @ 3:28 am
Douche. 🙂
Comment by kp — March 14, 2008 @ 4:00 am